A long long time ago

In a galaxy far far away

In a bonny place called Scotland Two Aussies came to stay

They got a flat in Glasgow

In the poshest part of town

Then tried to learn the lingo

From a book that cost ONE POUN!

They walked around the West End

When Damo shouted "Quick In"

The place was Mother India

And they both got Butter Chicken

They tried to eat some haggis

But it didnie taste quite right

It turned them both to veggies

And their skin a milky white

They vowed to meet some locals

Make friends with one or two

But the locals started laughing

When they rode their kangaroo

There's wee Ruth aff the radio

Who's on-air chat was risky

Flashed Jimmy Barnes her work ID

Then got them drunk on whisky

There also is a Tassie girl

Who got hitched to a Scotsman

If Andy tried to stay out late

Britt would hit him with a saucepan

The locals were all bonkers

So Melissa called the coppers

She got through to the Sheriff

Who was busy grilling whoppers

Great times were had by one and all

With Damien and Melsa

With sing-alongs and silly pomms

And now there's wedding bells-a

So raise your glasses up real high

And toast the lovely duo

To the heaps of love and happiness

That's guaranteed to follow

To Damien and Melissa

Love Andy & Britt